


The Brightest Thing that Glitters

by Rat_chan



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Moana crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 09:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15927821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rat_chan/pseuds/Rat_chan
Summary: Newt Scamander travels to the realm of monsters and fanboys all over Tamatoa.*This fic is over 1&1/2 years old. I wrote it as a fill for a kinkmeme prompt for a Moana crossover.





	The Brightest Thing that Glitters

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first thing I wrote for this fandom (and also the first thing I'd written in a long time), so... Maybe not up to snuff on all fronts, but I thought I'd finally repost it anyway.

Newt Scamander stared down into the blue glow of the open not-volcano, reveling in the racing of his pulse.

"Just jump," the islander witch had said. "It's exhilarating and it won't be the thing that kills you."

"Oh," Newt had absently responded, "What will?" He'd already forgotten what his question had meant. The word kill had flown out his other ear while his brain had relished the words "monsters" and "nightmare beasts" and "creatures not of our world".

Tamatoa.

His imagination had kindled at the description of the gigantic crustacean -- and his case had rattled at the description of his collection.

Which was why his case was nested safely in his boat. "Observation first," he murmured. In a louder voice he said, "You two will take care of me, won't you?"

A squeaky sigh from Pickett, as if to say "you'd be lost without me", and an inaudible pulse from Swooping Evil were his responses.

Right then. Just jump.

It was like traveling by floo powder and flying at top speed all while watching a watery reflection of a Phoenix's mating dance. Though his eyes stung, not even an Imperius could have made him close his eyes.

"Eep!" Pickett seemed less excited, however. Newt gently covered him with his left hand while his right tightened its grip on his wand.

Splash! Bam! The next moments were a chaotic whirl of water, marine life, colors, and impact. The wizard was slightly winded by his landing, but...

His respiration stopped completely at the sights before him. If he'd covered the contents of Jacob's bakery in every color of paint imaginable, it might have looked something like this. He drew a slow breath between quivering lips as creatures that looked like legged masks stalked around him.

"Squee!" A most unwizardly sound squeezed out from between his upper teeth and lower lip as his eyes and body danced and twirled, trying to take in everything at once.

Cover. He should make himself a blind to observe them all and all of their behavior. And he should prepare his camera -- he hadn't left that in his case, had he? And he should spell his quill to--

"Squee!"

That wasn't him.

"Squeeeeeeee!" A gleeful squeal trailed behind a sprinting gray form.

"Merlin's beard! Not again!" Newt chased the Niffler across the demented seascape and around beasts for whom he could only spare wistful glances. "Dragon pox," he cursed himself for still having lock repair on his list of things he'd get around to doing eventually.

"What is this thing!?" An indignant voice cried. "Get off my treasure!" The aggrieved cry was punctuated by an ominous clash.

"Please don't hurt him!" Newt pleaded as he burst on the scene. "He can't... help... himself..."

Shiny. Big, golden, glorious, and shiny.

"Speechless?" A crab that would have shamed a dragon in its size and... glitter.... turned its eye stalks toward him. "Of course you a--- Human!" The greedy Niffler clutched a crown for dear life as what could only be Tamatoa turned to face the other interloper. "Thief!"

"Magizoologist, actually. Newt Scamander," the wizard introduced himself absently as he mentally measured the beast and catalogued his features. "That Niffler, on the other hand..."

"Niffler?" The incongruous civility bemused Tamatoa. "Magizoo... Oh, I see. You're a student of fantastical creatures who has recklessly thrown himself into a chasm of otherworldly beings in order to document my unmitigated majesty?"

"Exactly." Newt magicked out his quill and journal. "Tamatoa, I presume?" He would never have thought a crustacean could put a pureblood to shame for haughtiness. But then again, this marvelous creature had more right to it. He spelled his quill, but it hovered motionless.

"What?" Tamatoa asked as he casually grasped the Niffler in a pincer and tossed him to the wizard.

"Oof!" Aim, apparently, was not one of the monster's attributes. "Words... cannot do you justice," Newt enthused as he tucked his naughty companion firmly in the crook of his left arm.

"Oh, but they can!" the giant crab gushed. "If they're set to--" He struck a pose. "Music!"

The magizoologist, sank to the floor, eyes round and ears perked as he listened, enthralled. His quill scratched counterpoint and he shook the gold out of the Niffler's pocket in time to the beat. Said thieving creature also seemed enchanted into stillness by the mesmerizing dance of gold and bioluminescence.

"Shiny!" Wizard and worldly creatures clapped together as the last note was absorbed by the waves overhead. "What is that?" Tamatoa asked, confusedly dropping his magnificent pose. "What are you doing?"

"It's called applause." Newt got to his feet and clapped harder, not caring about the stinging of his hands.

"Oh, you mean a physical display of approbation of my performance? Why... I..." The monster sniffed.

"I'm sorry!" The wizard rushed toward the dazzling creature. "I didn't mean to--"

"No one's ever stayed to appreciate my song before." Tamatoa reached out a claw to touch Newt's unwittingly outstretched hand. "Well, I did try to eat them, but still."

"Humans are the rudest animals."

Tamatoa nodded. "You'll stay? Hear another song?" He paused as a random cascade of fish poured down. "Eat some seafood?" He asked almost incomprehensibly around his mouthful.

"You don't mind!?" Newt definitely did not squeal... Nor did he flail like a schoolgirl. "No, wait."

"No?"

"I'll be right back! I've got to get my camera!" The wizard said hurriedly as he gathered his Niffler and his things. "And my phonograph!" He called back as Swooping Evil assisted them out.

"Don't be long!" Tamatoa sang, waving a claw after them. "Ah, he loves me."

....

"What's a phonograph?"

**Author's Note:**

> So, I intended to fill a bunch of angsty, nasty prompts first, but somehow this ended up being the first thing I wrote in this fandom.
> 
> I joined AO3 over a year ago to repost all my anonymous kinkmeme fills, but then life interrupted. As I've finally gotten back into writing (other fandoms, for now) and I'm finally using this account, I thought I may as well finally get around to reposting.


End file.
